Have you ever gone to a doctor appointment for one chronic ailment, only to be diagnosed with something completely unrelated? Yes, that happened this month. Then it happened again-and-again.
Sickness and disease have a way of playing a number on one’s psyche: tempting depression, self-pity, or even contemplating a way of escape. One must guard their hearts against giving in to such darkness because these are the opportunities to squeeze the hand of our Jesus and experience His strength in ways we can never muster for ourselves. Though these earthly bodies fail us, God’s hope increases!
YET WILL I PRAISE YOU
The clock struck 7:50 am as the class took our final stretch; reaching my arms to their fullest extent over my head, I bent over, letting my arms and neck dangle loosely toward the floor. The instructor made an uncharacteristic suggestion, “Blow out your breath and think of one thing you are thankful for today.” I breathed out, “Thank you, Lord, for my body.” Instantly I questioned my response, “Really, Bonnie? Your body?”
“Yes. I give thanks for this body.”
I knew the Spirit was preparing me for something, and I chose to trust Him and receive it.
I won’t begin to bore you with the list of quirky problems my body has been riddled with since my youth. The variety of tests, biopsies, surgery, and recovery this year alone is ridiculous. Yet today, the Spirit whispers within my spirit,
Give thanks. Give thanks for the mayhem in your flesh. Give thanks for the procedures; give thanks for the diagnosis to come.
Even…give thanks for the limitations on your life.
Though You slay me, yet will I praise You -Job
FEED TRUTH TO MY DOWNHEARTED SOUL
After another blood draw, I finally placed an order for the new Bible I’ve been wanting to glean from, “Beyond Suffering Bible: Where Struggles Seem Endless, God’s Hope is Infinite.” It is the NLT version of the Scriptures, compiled by Joni Erickson Tada.
My “suffering” is undoubtedly relative when compared to someone like Joni. (You can read her story on the link below) I am drawn to Joni’s message more this past year, as I listen to her articulate courage and God’s assessable power to a culture inclined to escape suffering. It’s a message I want to communicate when I have opportunities to teach. But presently, it’s a message I need to tell myself.
My fabulously attentive doctor called me with peculiar test results, he explained the unfolding mystery of my feeble body and ordered more tests… invasive tests.
The pity party began. I injected reminders of God’s goodness. Can one be confident of the sufficiency of God while slinking through the day downhearted?
I reminded myself:
Keep moving. Be faithful to the tasks at hand. Keep loving and serving those placed in your life.
I can do that. I want to do that. Lord, I need Your help.
When thoughts of “self” start seeping in, I try to acknowledge those feelings momentarily, then choose to turn my eyes upward toward my Loving Maker. My help comes from Him alone. He reminds me of Jesus’ teachings, to turn my gaze outward by thinking of others and loving others as better than myself.
REMAIN UNDER THE TRIAL
As the battle in my spirit compounded midweek, God’s perfect Word instructed me:
“For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:3-4
Steadfastness, as originally written in Greek, is a compound word meaning “under’ and “remain.” It teaches me to remain under the trial, staying put. I needn’t think of ways to avoid life’s pressures and demands, concocting ways to give up or crawl under the covers and weep or worry. Instead, I can remain in weakness, sticking to the calling of God.
The great apostle Paul related,
“I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
At last, my mind and mood merged together in worship,
“Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You’ve never failed me.”
(-Elevation Worship, “Do It Again”)
Yes, under the pressures of life’s hardships, I have tasted and seen that God is Good. The more I place my trust in Him: body, soul, and spirit, the more opportunity I have to experience the supernatural power and peace of God. Though this body keeps failing, God’s hope increases within. Great, is His faithfulness!
His presence grows in me as I give Him more room to move and flow and work out His will in this vessel – for His own great purposes.
True worship brings my whole being to the beautiful rest of surrender. This is where I want to stay. With Your Help, my great God, and King. Amen and amen, -Bonnie
- read about Joni’s life and story here- https://www.joniandfriends.org/jonis-corner/jonis-bio/
Are you, or someone you care about, struggling with this fragile life and in need of a steadfast mindset? Share this post, and let’s walk together