7 Ways to Begin
Can you recall the influential people in your youth? They made an impression because they took a special interest in you, challenged you, or respected your opinions. Studies show teens that have mentoring relationships are more likely to challenge themselves by taking positive life risks. Their decisions about drinking, drugs and sex become significantly influenced. (2006 SADD, Inc./Liberty Mutual Group study of 3,312 students)
While Mom is the most influential person in a child’s formative years, there is a natural psychological shift that occurs from mom to dad. Boys in particular require adult males to respect, get approval from and model their manhood after. If there isn’t a man in the home, explore ways to incorporate positive male mentors.
Creative Role Models in the Elementary Years
My husband and I mutually desire that our sons be able to face adversity or mundane tasks with a faithful zeal. We began introducing ordinary people whose lives exemplify extraordinary faith:
- Great hero stories for children. These may include Bible heroes, missionaries, business people, etc. Several nights a week, read them as a family or give boys their own time with dad reading and casually discussing the story. These stories can be found in children’s books or c.d.’s at your local Christian book source.
- Tell yourstory. Our boys call these “Daddy Stories”. They sit in the jacuzzi or by the fire while my husband tells stories of growing up, stories of struggles and faith in his workplace or mission trips. Casually he tells the stories, often with laughter, always with purpose. When our son returned from his first mission trip overseas, he told his peers, “My original motivation to go on a mission trip was because my parents always told me stories that sounded so fun”.
- Serve together. Care for a neighbor, serve in a soup kitchen, walk a 5k for the homeless. Locate opportunities by calling your local Salvation Army, soup kitchen, Special Olympics or church. You may hesitate now, but your heart will be bursting after your first experience! I have seen babies, young children, and our own special needs child able to give back to the community. Your son will learn life is not all about him, he will notice those in need. The unspoken power of serving beside role models will cultivate his character.
Purposeful Role Models for the Tween and Teen years
Purposely introduce like-minded people to your teen.
- Movie night. Boys respond to war stories; great classics that tell true stories of heroism. “To Hell and Back” was the first war movie our sons viewed. Selfless and courageous, Audie Murphy led by example. He was small, faced personal obstacles, but became the most decorated war hero in history. “Chariots of Fire” is a great choice for boys and girls.
- Give them you. Stay involved and interested. Hang out, have fun, keep communication open.
- Casual role models with similar interests. Contact your local college or church requesting an exceptional student with the sport or skill interest of your youth. Interview the student and offer to pay him or her to coach your child. Encourage the relationship with family barbeques, etc.
- Extracurricular activities with an organization. Connect with church youth groups, Campus Life, Junior Achievement, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. These organizations have volunteers who want to influence youth. Bill Beausay calls them Pockets of Power, “All you need to do is arrange transportation, give thanks to God for people like this, and get out of the way”. (Shaping the Man Inside Teenage Boys, by Bill Beausay)
Do you have an effective way to incorporate role models in your kid’s life? Please let us know about it!
Sarah Maizland says
I love these ideas! Thank you for sharing this site with me! I am excited to see what you do with it!
Bonnie J. Christensen says
I’m glad to see you came by, Sarah!